I have a love hate relationship with dreams about my parents. It’s always nice to “see” them, to “feel” them, to love them but I eventually wake up to the reality that they are in heaven.
Last night felt different, I felt real..raw.. deep..powerful inner sadness, like I’ve never felt before in my dreams.
My sisters and I were in high school but it felt like a movie since most of the High Schoolers were from shows or movies I’ve watched, like the cast of Pretty Little Liars, Ashley Benson was my best friend in the dream.
My mom was suffering from Cancer and we had a strong relationship. We would correspond by email and phone, mainly we discussed how her day was while we were at school.
We were informed of her subtle passing by a school counselor, I absolutely lost my mind. It was difficult to enter the home we all shared, to see her belongings scattered throughout the home. The experience was gut wrenching however I went back to school and let Flaca pack moms things because if I had done it I would have needed to be admitted to the hospital for depression it was just too much and the sadness took over my life. I didn’t want to live any longer if my parents who raised and loved me unconditionally couldn’t be with me. School was no better, I got the “I’m Sorry””thinking about you and your family” “keeping your family in my thoughts” talk, and of course those who were curious asked more questions. It felt wrong, I didn’t feel like myself but I woke up with the realization that it was all a dream. The thing that woke me up was her real anniversary date of death, November 21st.
In reality I get sad at times but I don’t allow myself to stay in that state for long but in the dream there was no escape, it felt like it was the end of the world and what was the purpose of living- I’ve never felt like that before, it felt very much true and real.
Why did I dream this?
Flaca, Flinche Y Rubia 